You've Been Federlined

There's no hiding the fact that I have my share of guilty pleasures. I've mentioned several in past posts here of FASTE, but tonight it's full disclosure time.

Not only do I own Kevin Federline's CD, I paid full-price for it when it came out and I still listen to it on a semi-regular basis.

When I was a kid, I hated certain foods and my mom would trick me into eating them by mixing them into other things and not telling me what I was actually eating. In the same way, if I played a couple tracks off this album for you and didn't tell you who you were listening to, I'm pretty sure you'd nod your head to the beat in approval. But if I told you it was K-Fed from the get-go, you'd never give it a chance.

The sound of this album is decent. Really.

Lyrically though? Ol' K-Fed's got a little work to do. See for yourself:

"I married a superstar. Never come between us no matter who you are." (Lose Control)

I think we all know how that story ended.

"It's okay. I got something for ya. I'm handin' out ass kickin's like diplomas." (America's Most Hated)

That's just ridiculous.

"Never been to Denver but I rock them nuggets. One earring cost more than your budget." (Lose Control)

Also ridiculous.

Here's my favorite...

"I got cake with no icing. K Federline. I snap like Mike Tyson." (Snap)

FYI, K-Fed. Any toughness expressed through a Mike Tyson reference is immediately negated by mentioning cake and icing in the same lyric.


There you have it, loyal FASTE readers. Starting off your weekend, consider yourselves Federlined.

You're welcome.


ShezCrafti said...

Okay, if you are confessing to liking Kevin Federline, then I'll confess to liking Britney Spears...and owning all her albums...

I gave K-Fed's album an honest shot when it came out, out of general principal for being a Britney fan. But I honestly hated it. The thing about rap is that so much about what makes a rap album good is the credibility of the rapper. K-Fed has none. He just had an amazing free meal ticket in Britney for a while, and without that, this album wouldn't exist.

TL said...

You nailed it. No Britney. No K-Fed.

I disagree though that a good rap album has to come from a credible artist. There is a lot of good hip-hop out there from artists no one has ever heard of just as there is some from people who have no business putting out an album to begin with.

On the flipside, there is tons of garbage out there from "credible" rap artists (see also, 1995-present).

If all hip-hop was as awesome as what came from the early/mid 80s, I'd be happy.

ShezCrafti said...

Hmm... I feel the need to clarify what I meant by "credible." I'm not trying to imply that one needs "street cred" in order to put out a good rap album. If I adhered to that principle, I would never discovered a love for Nerdcore and other underground rap.

I guess the word I should have used was "genuine." K-Fed's rap lyrics & persona/image, whatever you call it, represents something that isn't true. It's the life he WANTS to lead, but not the life he did/does. That's why I can't listen to it, no matter how well-crafted the beats are. Although I will say it's a step up from that time Spencer Pratt tried to rap...

TL said...

Ginuwine sucks.

Kidding. I know what you're saying now and definitely agree. Although you have to admit, some music/movies/etc are so bad that they're good (or at least mildly entertaining).