Day 66: Suit Shopping

Amy and I will be going to a wedding in a few weeks -- a "black tie optional" affair.

That means formal.

That means I need to buy a suit.

In my job as a high school counselor, I don't have the need to own a nice suit. At my fanciest, you might catch me in a shirt and tie, but mostly my corduroys and untucked button down shirts have served me well all these years. But duty has called and it's time for me to bite the bullet and play grown-up by purchasing my first suit since my early college days.

Remembering the last suit I owned -- somewhere around 1994 -- it was hideous.

And so was my hair.

The last time I wore it was at a celebration for my grandparents' anniversary. That's me in the back with the goatee and the purple suit. Or is it burgundy?


Either way, I looked like a magician.


Twenty-two years later, I walked through the doors of our local Men's Warehouse where my measurements were taken and before long I stood looking at some guy in the mirror who looked like he would've been a lot more comfortable wearing the shorts and flip-flops he wore into the store.

I debated on breaking into Jim Carey's dance from Dumb & Dumber while Amy checked out her stunning husband in the mirror...but I didn't. The suit I was wearing at the time had apparently taken hold of my sense of humor and would not allow me to tap into the idiot portion of my brain.


As we paid, Amy attempted to be sly by asking if my measurements would be stored in their system but I knew what she was doing. She seems to be under the impression that corduroys are not dress pants and is bound and determined to rid our closet of my small corduroy mountain. Reading between the lines, I expect to be receiving a pair of dress pants from her at every birthday and Christmas for the next five years.

I asked the guy helping us if Men's Warehouse sells corduroys.

They do not.

I debated on asking if they'd consider doing alterations of the pairs I own that are currently too small for me or have fringed cuffs. Again, there must have been something in the store affecting my idiot mode because I decided that I was already teetering on that line between funny and obnoxious to my wife.

So stay tuned. The Summer of Tim may be winding down, but it'll wind down in style.

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